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By Kate Swords, CNS
Functional Medicine Nutritionist
My husband and I experienced a devastating loss this summer when his father suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. Amongst the grief, for me, loss in general tends to bring up feelings of regret and wishes of more time, more calls, more visits, more adventures. To make matters worse, being in the middle of a pandemic, we were unable to visit Newfoundland where John lived to spend time hugging, visiting, and mourning with family. This exacerbated the feelings of sadness, regret, even anger. Instead of reaching out for group chats over Zoom or Skype, we just sort of holed up at home and grieved by ourselves with the occasional phone call to laugh or cry over stories from long ago. We were naive to think that a visit would soon be in the cards.
Now with the realization that it may be some time before we can travel, we recognized that we cannot just isolate ourselves at home and “wait” for the time when we can have laughs with family and friends once again. We need to adapt and get creative because who knows what could happen, right? With months of isolation, social distancing, lack of physical touch and the general stress of living in a pandemic, we all deserve some smiles, laughs and downright joy right now.
So, if you are not able to travel or be with your loved ones this winter, here are some ideas on how to stay in touch, share experiences, and show love.
I have a group of dear friends whom I met while working in Montana one summer during college years ago. Everyone is spread out all over the US but we generally get together every year for some sort of adventure. Physical plans this year had to be cancelled and in their place were group chats, Marco Polo videos (you should check out this app if you’ve never heard of it!), and virtual dance and lip sync contests. Someone also had the great idea of a First Annual virtual white elephant gift exchange. This can happen anytime of year! If you have never participated in a Yankee swap /white elephant party, the concept is to give humorous and generally impractical gifts with the main purpose of entertainment. When done virtually, each person that participates brings a wrapped gift (monetary limits can be set ahead of time) and the whole party takes place over Zoom. Gifts are mailed out to the recipients at the end and everyone gets to have some laughs. Wine optional!
Consider making a dish or special treat for a neighbor, friend, or family member who lives alone or may not have had many visitors this year. This simple gesture can mean a lot to someone who has been especially isolated.
Plan an adventure or activity you can enjoy in the future together with family and friends. Researching and planning can be exciting, and it gives all of you something to look forward to.
There is just something more genuine about seeing someone’s smiling face versus simply hearing their voice over the phone. My grandmother turned 90 this summer and while some of us could safely celebrate with her, many that live further away were unable to make the trip. We set up a FaceTime call for her with my cousins and she thought it was the greatest thing ever! She was laughing and smiling and just oh-so-happy. It made all of us so happy too. She recently got hearing aids but even with them, talking on the phone can be a challenge. I never realized how much easier having the visual and being able to see lips might make it for her to understand. I recently bought her a tablet with the hopes that we all may be able to communicate better, share photos and just give her our time, attention and love virtually.
Break out some favorite family recipes and cook together from a distance. It could also be fun to experiment with a new recipe together from afar. You may even find a new family favorite!
Organize a game night and play virtually. We have a family tradition of board games around the holidays, but last New Year’s Eve no one was really feeling Trivial Pursuit so I went down to the basement and dug through the old game bin. I came across one I hadn’t seen in 20+ years and to be honest could barely remember playing ~ Read My Lips, Kid! It was HILARIOUS! I could see this being a fantastic game to play virtually. Other games that could work are Scattegories, Boggle, Pictionary, and Charades. There are also a lot of online options, many of which you can buy from the App store or you can use Steam, which is a gaming app/platform for the computer that you can download for free. This is a fun idea, even in non-COVID times!
Yes, the theme of 2020 has been “virtual” but don’t let that stop you from getting together with family and friends if you can. Go Outdoors ~ for a hike, break out the snowshoes or have a small gathering around a fire (or two) where you can safely physically distance (let’s be real, that’s really what we are talking about here). The fresh air, laughs and chats will support a healthy mind and body, which is what we all need right now.
